How well are you able to apply personality type information in your day-to-day family relationships? Many of us read a book or take a workshop to get an overview of personality differences but then don't know how best to use it. If this sounds familiar to you, then you may want to connect with Julie Brunner.
Julie Brunner, MS Licensed Professional Counselor, has made a career of helping women develop personality-based strategies to bridge differences in parent-child and couple relationships. Although her home base is in rural Minnesota, she offers one-on-one sessions via telephone, so she can help mothers who live anywhere.
Julie is the third professional profile in an on-going series. As long as there is interest, it will continue. My objective is two fold: to recognize people who are doing important work supporting mothers and to inspire other professionals to do the same.
If you are doing programs for parents in your local
area, and would consider being interviewed, please contact me at jpmoms@aol.com.
Meet Julie Brunner:
Personality
type: INFJ
Contact Information: Telephone 507-434-2823, email juliebrunnerlpc@msn.com, website under construction.
Favorite Quote: "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." -- Albert Einstein
Q: What got you started using personality type in
parenting?
In graduate
school, I took the MBTI and put my results into a folder not expecting to use it
again. When my son was born, someone handed me your book.
I thought, "Wow, this makes it practical!" As I read it, I had many "Aha's." It
also decreased my guilt as a mother. I thought, "Everyone should know about
this!" A lot of people take the MBTI but don't know how to apply it to their
marriage or their parenting. The MBTI is a fundamental piece of everything I
do. Awareness of our personality allows us to make choices in life and
relationships instead of just reacting.
Q: How has your work with mothers evolved over the
past ten years?
I had a desire to help people learn about their
personality before they were in crisis. So I started out leading women's
workshops. Now I do more individual consulting. Or I offer a general workshop
and then do one-on-one sessions afterward to help women come up with individual
strategies to get along better in their life and relationships. Also the focus
of my workshops changed. I started out leading groups called: "Intentional
Parenting" or "Understand Your Personality in Parenting." Now I do "Women in
Transition" and "Wisdom of Women" groups. I like to help women who are in
leadership roles or adapting to big life changes -- a new baby, becoming an
empty-nester, moving, a loss of a spouse, a major illness. There are concrete
things people can do at different stages of transition to help themselves
instead of feeling lost in a fog.
Q:
How can a woman help herself through a major transition?
I like
a book called Transitions. It's author, William
Bridges, identifies three stages for every transition: 1. Endings, 2. An
undefined Neutral Zone, and 3. New Beginnings. We often don't honor the
endings. For example, having your first baby can be an exciting new beginning.
But it also signals an ending - the loss of the freedom you once enjoyed as a couple. I help women to acknowledge that ending by creating a personal
ending ritual. It's like doing a closet audit. You write down what is ending,
what no longer fits, and clear out the clutter - whether it be relationships or
beliefs. Women also need to allow themselves enough time in the Neutral Zone
before they move forward. I help them reflect and take care of themselves during
that time. As for new beginnings, sometimes we just need encouragement to take
that next step.
Q: How do you develop
personality type strategies for each woman?
I break down their
personality type into the four letters and identify what struggles they might
have. E -I is about energy for your life. As an Introverted type, I need a
power nap or some alone time to maintain my energy throughout the day. My kids
learned that this was really important for me. When I'm acting cranky, they will
suggest that I take a little time out. It's a bit of a joke, but they're right.
I didn't quite recognize it yet, but they did. S-N is about your personal
philosophy, the way you view life. As an Intuitive type, I'm big picture and can
easily get overwhelmed by the details. I'm always telling myself and my
children, "Let's take it step-by-step." T-F is about how to show caring and
concern. T types are amazed that F types blend truthful feedback with their
worth as a person. After a woman understands her own personality, I compare her
type to her child's or spouse's, and look for similarities and differences.
Without giving it thought, we usually give others what we would want for
ourselves, instead of what the other person truly needs.
Q: What do you most enjoy about your work?
The biggest reward is
watching the transformation that happens. Women go from surviving to thriving.
I love when a woman begins to accept her challenges and struggles as an
opportunity for growth. That's when I know she's making progress. They come in
thinking "If I could just fix that person, my life will be good" and they leave
with self-understanding and new strategies to get along better. I ask women,
"What are you role modeling for your children?" Often they are willing to make
changes for their child's sake that they couldn't make for themselves. The women
I work with are interesting, exciting, and caring.
To contact Julie
directly, email her at juliebrunnerlpc@msn.com.
I welcome your thoughts and comments on the professional profile series.
Thanks,
Janet Penley
